![[Undertones]](/ub4.png)
The second in our exclusive series about the real lads behind The Undertones.
Eugene Edward Martin was a plump 12 Ibs bouncing baby boy when he entered the world on October 16th - 1958.
He was the youngest boy from a large Catholic family in the Creggan Estate - Derry and was indeed quite different in character from the rest of his brothers and sisters. At the early age of 4 little Eugene had sussed that the best way of receiving attention was not to roar and bawl for sweets and biscuits like his unruly brothers but to cunningly act the quiet and reserved good little kiddie he was - such devious methods could only result in rewards indeed!
Eugene quickly developed into a spotty adolescent and one famous evening whilst reading Enid Biyton's "Rat-A-Tat-Tat Mystery" his whole life was transformed by the sound of Gene Pitney's "24 Hours From Tulsa" on the radio. Such was the emotion of hearing this intense record Eugene even went to the length of adopting the whole clean-cut Gene Pitney image to such an extent that he even began to look like him! At school this earned him the nick-name of 'Eu-Gene' Pitney.
Anyway - using Derry as a base Eugene enroled in that famous institution of knowledge - The Derry Cech - studying Art and English A-Level - whilst also deviously signing on the dole at the same time.
But poor Eugene was bored and frustrated - for after all he was convinced he was a genius and that he was brought into this world for a purpose. But what? Was he destined to become a famous artist - a Prime Minister - a Trappist monk or even a rich respected playwrite? He definitely didn't consider himself University material as he didn't want to be associated with that dreaded species - the hippy student!
It was whilst daydreaming about this fascinating question during a particularly boring English lesson in room 14b that Eugene curiously noticed a rather untidy - bespectacled gentleman who he was accustomed to see hanging about idly round corners and betting shops. This strange fellow who was sitting beside him was also elsewhere in some deep thought. They both quickly conversed and the rather scruffy person turned out to be one John Joseph O'Neill - guitarist and leader of Derry's only Punk Rock group The Undertones.
After recovering from a sudden fit of laughter Eugene - managing to restrain himself from falling off his seat - then claimed that he received a message from Heaven in the form of two white doves that suddenly flew into their class and rested upon their desks. It was then that Eugene knew that somehow this uncouth youth provided the answer to his purpose in life on earth.
He had heard bits of this latest new fad called Punk Rock where they stick pins through their noses and vomit all over each other - and was of course horrified and sickened. Nevertheless it turned out that this group The Undertones were playing a public bar called "The Casbah" that following Fri and the ever-curious Eugene couldn't help but enter this den of iniquity knowing full well how damaging it would be to his image.
It was a night that changed his life ------
Q. Ahem Well to begin with Eugene - may I say that it's awfully decent of you to miss your favourite T.V. programme "The Life and Times of David Lloyd George" to speak to The Rocking Humdingers Club for a rare interview.
A. Well actually I wouldn't dare miss dear old 'Georgie' so I've taped it on my wonderful Radio Rentals video machine. And of course you're right it really is a wonderful honour for your spiffing little magazine to get a rare exclusive from me. All the proceeds from this interview will naturally go to charity.
Q. Let's start at the beginning shall we - tell me how did you first hear of The Undertones?
A. Well myself and he (John O'Neill - that is) were walking home from our place of scholarly enlightenment when I said that I played for St. Eugene's football team - and he replied that he played for The Undertones. I said what position and he said "Eh?".
Q. What was your first impression of The Casbah and did you not have doubts about being seen going there - knowing very well that it may damage your sort of clean-cut - art student image which you had carefully built up over the years?
A. That's very true - one has one's standards to keep. I thought that the Casbah was a pit - a hell hole - a right kip - a den of iniquity. It smelt worse than a sewer and looked worse than a slaughterhouse. Its clientelle were ageing hippies - poofs and prostitutes. I was appalled and shocked at it's low life. If my ma had caught me there she would have murdered me. It made the decadence of Berlin seem almost cathedral like. I liked it - -.
Q. How much did they pay you?
A. Ah!! I'm amazed at you. How could you lower yourself to possibly talk in terms of money. I was attracted by the aesthetic beauty of the Casbah.
Q. I believe the group used to constantly borrow your L.P.s and singles as you were the only one who could afford such luxuries - yet you were still doing a few A-Levels at the Tech. How did you manage to get the money?
A. Well - in answering this question I could get myself into trouble with the authorities. No - I'm not responsible for any henious crimes of robbery - blackmail - or murder - Worse - much worse - I signed the dole whilst still attending the Tech. Oh God - please forgive me -
Q. I also heard that you went to London with a few of them in Summer '77 when they were trying to plug their demo tapes. Tell me did they have much luck?
A. Not really - Chelsea nor West Ham Utd. were playing at home and Spurs hadn't signed Ardilles or Villa at that time.
Q. What was your first impression of the group?
A. I thought they were very intense. Their appearance varied from unkempt to downright scruffy. Feargal sang through a brown paper bag - John danced beside a shaking fridge - Damian fell down holes whilst his coat caught fire - Mickey banged people on the head with his bass whilst verbally abusing the reserved Dick Tucker - and Billy spent his time polishing his drums before kicking them in. But apart from that they seemed like five normal psychopaths.
Q. Anyway - you began to go regularly every week and soon you found yourself being made lights man whilst Vinny did the mixing. Tell me - did you want to do the lights and was it a difficult task?
A. Actually I wanted to operate the dry-ice machine but we had no dry ice-cubes. I spent months being extensively trained at N.A.S.A. and had to learn to operate the legendary FISH electronics system - three big white lights and a light switch. Eventually Mark 11 FISH got even more complicated with 3 switches - a dimmer control and 7 or 8 coloured lights. Gary Numan bought the system off Feargal a while back for his farewell concerts. Of course no payment was needed for my services as it was an honour to be part of such a slick stage show -
Q. What were your feelings towards the so-called Belfast scene that John Peel was raving about in those days?
A. Well - the Belfast scene didn't really exist - in much the same way as Derry doesn't exist to most Belfast people. It consisted of a lot of fat - greasy - leather clad spikey tops who jumped about like apprentice Big Daddy wrestlers. Their idea of Punk was what they read in The Sun. They were weaned on ex-showbands turned New Wave e.g. Candy who became Pretty Boy Floyd and The Gems and Stiff Little Fingers who became Stiff Little Fingers.
Q. When the group recorded 'Teenage Kicks' did you think that it was (a) rubbish (b) something to do on a rainy day in rotten Belfast or (c) the best thing you'd heard since Gene Pitney?
A. Well - Gene Pitney as you have guessed was my greatest influence. His genius cannot be underestimated. The thrill of first hearing 'Teenage Kicks' on vinyl was the greatest emotion I've felt since I saw the great Gene Pitney appearing on Top of the Pops singing '24 Hours from Tulsa'. What a performer - what presence! Aagh!
Q. What were you impressions of "Jah Hoop" Hooley?
A Well to be honest we didn't see eye to eye. I think he was - and still is a bit of an idiot. His big interests in life were himself and Rudi - in that order. Still - he had good intentions and he did a great deal of good. He's probably still flogging "limited edition" copies of ^Teenage Kicks'.
Q. O.K. Eugene - The 'Tones got signed up with Sire Records - Did the group strike you as being young business men of the year regarding their contract?
A. I think where The Undertones went wrong with Sire was that they couldn't nick enough records off them. The choice was very limited; Talking Heads - The Ramones - and The Rezillos. Aha! but now with EMI the choice is far better. There's Sheena Easton - Ennio Morricone - Roger Taylor - and much - much more -.
Q. I know it's a touchy subject - but will you please comment on the now legendary 'Great Disaster Tour?'
A. Well the high point of this tour was 'The Madison' Hotel. What an elegant little residence this was. Wall to wall lice - cockroaches as big as rats - (maybe they were rats?) etc-. And a wonderful homely service provided by Dracula's daughters. Our tour guide was the very wonderful Mark (cool it man - yeah) Latrobe ~ a vast source of amusing and entertaining anecdotes. His homespun yarns wiled away many boring hours. Our original driver had to return to Derry having drunk England dry and left his van lying somewhere feeling very sick. I think this tour would compare to spending a week at Crossroads motel. It wasn't so much that everything went wrong - more like nothing went right.
Q. After returning home again did it strike you then that your great roadie days for The Undertones were over?
A. Well - I felt that I'd better retire from the gear humping scene. The amps were too heavy and I always missed Blue Peter on T.V. So I put away my Woolworths carrier bags and considered work. Well after months of trepidation - fear and degredation - the worst blow of all fell. I got a job!!
Q. And what did you do then?
A. Well - my job was in the salary offices of the local loony-bin. I felt quite at home there. Patients wandered around flying imaginary kites and I tried to forget my sordid past.
Q. Any bitter feelings towards the group?
A. Well - I feel that I have found perfect peace. I rejected the pursuit of money and earthly possessions. I settled down with my Guru - Mad Jimmy - and comtemplated the meaning of life - whereas The Undertones are travelling around the world in the pursuit of wealth. They travel the immoral cesspools of the world in a pointless quest to satisfy their earthly lusts. If only they could reject these earthly pleasures and join me in Gransha.
Q. Anyway - you still manage to keep in touch with the group - especially young Damian as he used to dodge Mass in your house. There are certain rumours that you actually helped him with some words in songs like 'What's With Terry?' - 'Whizz Kids' - and 'My Perfect Cousin'. I questioned Damian about this yesterday and he suddenly went very red in the face and refused to discuss the matter - could this rumour be true?
A. Well now that the cat's out of the bag I might as well reveal my true identity. I'm really lan Ogilvie - ace reporter for the Daily Tory Express and the man responsible for such vignettes as 'Just Fade Away and Die' - 'Safe as Derelict Houses' - and 'Gotta Getta Singer' - Among my other aliases are Kevin Rowland - Julian Cope - Edwyn Collins - Phil Coulter and Barry Manilow. And my latest example of pure pop has recently smashed into the charts "Scotland are on Their Way to Wembley".
Q Are you going to sue him?
A. Of course not. Heaven forbid. I'm waiting until The Undertones make their first million and then I'm going to sell my exclusive revelations to the Rolling Stone magazine.
Q. I also believe you helped design 'My Perfect Cousin* sleeve with Damian - yet once again you never received any credit or money. Are you going to sue The Undertones?
A. Well a true artist never does anything for money. I eat and drink my art. To see my genius embellished on a record sleeve is enough payment for me. And anyway those skinflints would go to jail rather than part with money.
Q. I know that now you're a legendary figure in Derry your social life has been very hectic. Do you think this has made you change in any way?
A. Well the continual whirl of hosting and attending parties has taken its toll. William Hickey and Paul Callan are always asking me for little pieces of gossip tit-bits - Parkinson plagues me to appear on his show and I had to turn down an invite for Charlie and Di's wedding. I mean one can't upstage the happy royal couple on their big day - can one?
Q. Have you ever felt that The 'Tones might not have got where they are today without Vinny's and your help?
A. Of course not! How absurd! Vinny was the man responsible for their early unique sound. Recently he turned down production duties on the Bucks Fizz L.P. as they couldn't afford him. And quite modestly I feel I'm responsbile for Dee's dark glasses because he stood too close to the big white lights I operated and Damian is now rendered half-blind. Why do you think he's starting to play the organ now? The reason is that he can see the white keys better than guitar strings. And the mind boggles to think what new radical sound Vinny could create if he got his hands on The Undertones mixing desk.
Q Finally - is this the REal Eugene Martin that we're talking to or are you once again simply concealing your true identity?
A. Well that's not really a question that I can answer. Perhaps the deep intricacies of my mind can only be discerned by some other great mind - a Jung - Freud - or even a Proops. I am a person of many subtle facets and my true genius will only be fully realised after my death. On the other hand of course - I could be wrong-.
Q. May I just say I've enjoyed this conversation immensely Eugene -
A Don't mention it. Just make sure the cheques in the post. Anyway - I must dash as Alan Whicker has just jetted in to arrange a ten part documentary on My Life and Times - If any of your many readers can think of a suitable title I'll award them with a signed photograph of Vinny - as he needs all the publicity he can get -
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